


and this is how it starts

by astonishinglyy



Category: Blue Lock (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Kissing, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sad Ending, i don’t know how to tag things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25721614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astonishinglyy/pseuds/astonishinglyy
Summary: Nagi and Chigiri have two different goals. Chigiri wants to kiss anyone he’s free to do so with and Nagi wants Chigiri to fall in love with him.
Relationships: Seishiro Nagi/Hyoma Chigiri
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	and this is how it starts

**Author's Note:**

> not a single soul in the universe asked for this and i’m pretty sure only 2 people ship them but here we are.

The first time Nagi gets the chance to hang out with Hyoma Chigiri, he doesn’t expect anything to come out of it. Everyone knows it’s a simple fact that Hyoma Chigiri doesn’t do relationships and Nagi isn’t sure yet if he’s ready to have his heart broken by anyone. However, he wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t going to say no to a chance to be alone with Chigiri, everyone wants to hang out with Chigiri. 

Nagi isn’t sure though, how many people have been in a fast food parking lot looking at the stars with Chigiri. He could’ve easily lied when he said “oh, I’ve never done that before” and Nagi wouldn’t even know and Nagi wouldn’t even care. 

Chigiri’s redish pink hair is tied in the same ponytail it’s always in and he’s wearing the same style of clothes he always does and his eyes are sparkling the same way it always is. Maybe Nagi is not in the right headspace or maybe it’s just a trick of the moonlight but Nagi is almost certain he’s never seen Chigiri look so gorgeous before in the years they’ve been going to school together. It’s probably very obvious but Nagi can’t stop looking at the boy as the boy can’t stop looking at the stars through the windows in Nagi’s van.. 

It doesn’t help that Nagi’s jacket (which he only washed for this occasion) is just hanging off Chigiri’s back and he looks better than Nagi does when he wears it. They’re not saying anything and neither of the boys really know if it’s a good or bad silence because Nagi is usually silent and even when he’s not, it’s a simple answer that doesn’t require rocket science to unpack. 

“You can hold my hand if that’s your thing. Or do anything with your hands if it kills time.” Chigiri’s only half joking but Nagi is too stunned to laugh. 

Despite the dark, Chigiri’s eyes still shine and Nagi looks into them as Chigiri inches closer to him because Chigiri knows how this goes and Nagi has only heard of how it. They’re here for one thing. He can’t even say they’ve got the same goal. Nagi wants to kiss Chigiri and Chigiri is okay with kissing anyone if he’s happy with it. Chigiri would do anything as long as he’s free to, and Nagi would watch him — or anyone else that’s as free as him — and wonder what that’s like, to feel like that. 

Maybe if Nagi could find the words, he would stop himself and talk to Chigiri like he wanted to believe he had been invited to do but Nagi wasn’t like that. Nagi wasn’t that kind of guy to talk and neither was Chigiri, no matter how much he thinks he could delude himself into thinking something like that. That’s why there’s no hesitation when they’re kissing (despite the fact that Nagi’s palms are sweating bullets). 

Nagi could say it’s magical. Nagi could say he’s never felt this way before. Nagi could say he feels like they’re the only two people in the world. There’s a lot of stereotypical phrases Nagi could say but it’s not that kind of story. 

Instead Nagi would say he's sad. Nagi would say he wishes he felt like this with anyone else. Nagi would say he dislikes whatever is bubbling up towards Chigiri. Nagi and Chigiri have two different end goals. Chigiri wants to kiss anyone he would be happy with. Nagi wants Chigiri to fall in love with him. 

Nagi is suddenly okay with the idea of getting his heart broken by Chigiri

Then before you know it, they’re only minutes away from dropping Chigiri back at his house and they’re chatting as though they’ve been lifelong friends. Nagi wonders if this always happens with everyone else Chigiri hangs out with. 

“Are you seriously telling me that you’ve never, not once, kissed someone before?” Nagi lied when he told Chigiri that but who cares because he knows it gives Chigiri a sense of pride and glee whenever Chigiri gets to be someone’s first. 

Nagi shakes his head, eyes on the road. “I don’t do the whole relationship thing.” And neither does Chigiri. 

Chigiri doesn’t seem surprised. 

“You shouldn’t pick on me about it when you’re the same way.” Nagi’s smile is small but it’s there. He enjoys getting to know Chigiri even if Chigiri just sees it as time passing by on their way to Chigiri’s house. 

Chigiri hesitates. Chigiri hesitates. “Well…” 

There isn’t supposed to be a well. Nagi doesn’t like the way Chigiri looks at the stars through the window in an almost dream-like way. Nagi doesn’t like how Chigiri seems to be deep in thought. It’s strange, Chigiri doesn’t do that. 

“You know Rensuke Kunigami right?”

Nagi’s become tighter on the steering wheel. “Oh yeah, your friend that made the ‘funny’ short film about life at our school?” Nagi sees the way Chigiri eyes him. “He’s got an interesting goal but I can respect that, it makes him cool, I guess.”

Chigiri laughs. “The hero of Blue Lock High School.” Nagi hates how Chigiri sounds when he says it. Chigiri doesn’t have a tone like that with people. Chigiri doesn’t blush when talking about people. Chigiri doesn’t play with his hair when thinking about people. 

There's silence and this time Nagi is certain it’s a bad one. 

“My house is the blue one you’re coming to,” Chigiri interrupts Nagi’s thoughts to remind him this night is practically over and they’re just buddies who kissed a couple times. He’s nothing special because Chigiri is thinking of someone else the same way Nagi thinks of Chigiri. 

Nagi stops the car in front of Chigiri’s house. He’s not invited in, he barely gets a proper goodbye since Chigiri’s mind is completely elsewhere. 

And Nagi doesn’t know why he chooses to say what he says but he does it anyway in a voice Chigiri can barely hear. “You should ask him out.”

Chigiri smiles, he hasn’t even looked Nagi in the eyes. Nagi knows it’s over before it even starts but it’s okay, he can pretend he’s not living in some moronic fantasy if it means he gets to see Chigiri like this again. 

Chigiri gives him a nod and, blushing hard, hurries inside his house. 

Nagi realizes there’s no point in getting to know Chigiri and trying to form something out of thoughtless kissing. What’s the point if Chigiri already has someone else anyway?

The second time Nagi “hangs out” with Chigiri, it’s in Nagi’s room on his bed for a stupid school project and they’ve barely made an hour of progress before they’re kissing. Nagi can’t seem to remember his own name anymore. 

It’s ironic because neither have spoken to each other since that childish night three weeks ago — glances across rooms they’re in together not counting. Nagi hasn’t stopped thinking about Chigiri and when he’s kissing the pretty haired boy he wants him to know that. He wants Chigiri to know this is the first time he’s ever felt the excitement of wanting someone and he doesn’t want Chigiri to feel that way about anyone else. 

It’s not that kind of story (Nagi seems to forget that). 

Chigiri pulls away and takes a few deep breaths, he doesn’t look Nagi directly in the eye. Chigiri hardly ever does unless Nagi catches Chigiri staring at him and they’re forced to make eye contact. Nagi just wants to see those rose pink eyes more. 

“Kunigami and I went out.” 

It’s not that kind of story. 

“It’s nothing official yet but I think he really likes me.”

It doesn’t matter. 

“I wanted to tell you since I came over but well, here we are.” 

Shut up. 

Nagi doesn’t know why he kisses Chigiri again. Nagi doesn’t know why he does a lot of things when it comes to Chigiri. Chigiri isn’t pulling away and Nagi doesn’t want to hear him talk anymore. Nagi doesn’t want to even imagine Chigiri thinking about someone else. It’s them together only. Even if he has to force himself to think it while they’re kissing. 

Of course Nagi wants to get to know Chigiri better and of course Nagi doesn’t want to let Chigiri go but what’s the point? His hopes for anything possibly ended the last night they were together and yes, he’s stupid for bringing it here today and yeah, he’s even more idiotic for continuing them on even past today because he knows there is no point. There’s no point in trying to build anything with Chigiri. 

Nagi knows he needs to accept that they’re not in some hour and a half romance movie nor are they in a three hundred page romance novel. He can’t fill a spot not meant for him (no matter how much you want something, you still can’t steal it).

Because at the end of the day, Nagi can lie and hold moments like these where they’re kissing and forgetting the actual problem closely but Chigiri still has someone else. 

The third time Nagi “hangs out” (he hates that phrase now) with Chigiri, they decide to go just outside of town to watch the stars again and Nagi barely has time to turn off the car before him and Chigiri are kissing again. They’re not thinking, they’ve hardly talked on the way here, hell, they’ve barely talked in the month that’s gone by since their last time “hanging out”. 

Nagi has seen Chigiri and Kunigami in the halls and in the classrooms and in the cafeteria. He’s seen them talk, laugh, hold hands, hug, kiss. He’s heard the way they talk about each other and the way everyone else is so disappointed and shocked because the most wanted senior in high school, Hyoma Chigiri, the guy that doesn’t do relationships, is no longer available. It’s been a bitter month for Nagi, to say the very least. 

Yet, Chigiri can stop him just before he leaves, after school and ask to “show him a spot to watch the stars again” shyly. Chigiri can play his favourite music as they sit in comfortable silence on the drive here. Chigiri can be the one to initiate the kissing. Chigiri can pretend that the last month never happened and what does Nagi do? Nothing. Because who is Seishiro Nagi to tell Hyoma Chigiri “no”. 

“Kunigami and I got into a fight after school.” 

Their faces are barely apart and neither hasn’t even realized it but Nagi is playing with Chigiri’s soft hair. Nagi’s not listening, he doesn’t want to listen. He likes the way Chigiri’s voice filters out with the wind. Nagi kisses Chigiri again. 

“I’m not trying to stop you but why did you immediately come to me?” 

Chigiri doesn’t answer, Nagi begins to wonder if he’s even heard him. 

“I don’t know.”

Chigiri kisses Nagi again. 

Nagi realizes why. It’s easy for Chigiri. It doesn’t require much effort or work, it doesn’t require him talking up a storm or any level of convincing. Nagi is just there. Nagi isn’t something Chigiri has to work for. Chigiri knows that so why wouldn’t he take the opportunity? He’s going to be back again and again and again and again (and again) until Nagi stops him (he won’t). Nagi knows he’s a fool, he needs to get some respect for himself but he doesn’t care. 

Hyoma Chigiri is the guy that kisses anyone as long as he’s free to and happy with. Hyoma Chigiri is the guy with the soft hair and the pretty eyes. Hyoma Chigiri is the guy with the friends who are just like him. Free, determined, passionate. With their sky high reputations and their ability to get what they want and their contagious personalities, they’re just like him. He can have feelings for anyone of them. Yet, here he is, with Hyoma Chigiri. 

Nagi can kiss Chigiri for the rest of the night and he can kiss Chigiri some other time after that (and any other after that) and Chigiri will always be one step out of his box. If it was any other story, maybe Chigiri and Nagi would meet in the rain and Chigiri would profess his love for Nagi. 

Nagi isn’t a total moron though, he knows it’s just not that kind of story. 

The thing is, Chigiri’s friends also have someone they want the way Nagi wants Chigiri. With that being the case, it would only make sense for Chigiri to have someone as well. It just isn’t Nagi. So maybe it is that kind of story, however, Nagi isn’t a main character in it. 

“Should we stop doing this?”

Chigiri could just let Nagi go with three letters. 

“No.”

So yeah, Nagi is going to kiss Chigiri, again and again and again and again (and again) until the inevitable day Chigiri stops it or the miracle day that Nagi says no. It doesn’t matter in the end though, Chigiri has someone else anyway to run off to and Nagi is the fall back. 

How wonderful it is to have his heart broken by Hyoma Chigiri.

**Author's Note:**

> tragic. anyways, tell me what you think, comments are what keep me going and push my self esteem <33 hope it didn’t suck too badly.


End file.
